Jax's Artistic Journey...

Once again I'm packing up and moving temporarily to my second home in Florida. I know my girlfriends are excited about my return, and I am too! It also means there will be less time for myself with family buzzing around but I'm going to be way too busy job hunting. The biggest change for me will be getting back into Corporate life and interacting with real live people again! In a crazy sort of way, I'm happy about it. I was starting to feel like my only friends were figments of my imagination. Trust me, I'll miss living in my pajamas and sock monkey slippers but my bank account will thank me. How else am I going to afford going to conferences and paying for membership dues? It adds up. That's not including my book buying addiction...

Besides, working from home has been awesome but I'm learning that I thrive most when I'm with people, just as much as some people thrive on drama. I need to keep my mind going, fueling my spirit, and I'm hoping it will get me to focus. When you're working a nine-to-five, you appreciate writing so much more. I'm actually looking forward to prettying up and straightening my curly mop of hair again. I want to slip on those strappy heels because they're too delicious to be lining the floors. When my wardrobe has mostly consisted of a dozen sweats and a handful of pajamas, you start feeling kind of unsexy. Yes, your heard it right...so I'm going to change all that. With 2010 in the horizons, I'm going to get back on track physically and mentally...and then I'll be ready for NY and what's in store for me...

Just as the quote says...

I'm ready to live life again!

Sometimes change happens. Change could be a good or a bad thing depending on how we interpret it.

From changes to the publishing industry to changes in our own personal lives, it's either unexpected or planned. But one thing I know for sure, change happens to me more often than not and I think I've learned to adapt to it. How I see it, it's unavoidable and if I put up a fight it would only make things more complicated. I've had enough complications so I'm just going to ride change and hope that it'll lead me to a calmer place.

Simply: I've been taking my muse for granted.

She used to hang around, excitedly filling my head with all kinds of creative ideas, and providing countless sleepless nights. I thought that she would always be a part of my life and never considered a time when she would abandon me...well, that time came a few months ago. I woke up one morning and realized she was nowhere to be seen. For days I worried she had enough of my stubbornness and took a sabbatical. When the days turned into weeks, then months--I knew there was a possibility she would never return. So I begged and pleaded but she refused to acknowledge my existence. What is a girl to do?

I sulked for a while and fell into a wormhole of depression but during that time without my dear muse, I found myself. I wish I could say that I did it all by my lonesome...but the truth is...I had a little help from my friends. What I discovered was that my muse contains elements of each one of my dear friends. While I was in search of one single entity, I hadn't expected that she had been waiting for me to wake up from my dream and see the truth for what it is....

Thank you dear friends for sending my muse back home to me. Without you guys, I would still be lost in that forest, devoid of creativity :) YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

And this project will be my love story to you all.

You know how much trouble I get into when I think... Well, it's not just about writing all the time....

You see, I've always loved the entertainment industry and having the opportunity to work on movie sets with actors, producers, and directors...there are times I really really miss it. Sure I worked long hours but the fun was in pulling practical jokes on each other or finding silly things to do to stay awake. There was one Disney show where we tried to put a rubber duck in almost every scene...until we got caught and reprimanded. It was such a hoot. Or the time the Costumer renamed me "Donna" and everyone kept calling me that for the whole duration of filming--which was weeks. After a while, I actually started answering to that name when the director called for me.

Then there were some not so much fun times when I was a PA (production assistant). I hated the early AM calls and folks treating me like their very own personal work slave--but, most often, there were lots of amazing people and perks. All you can eat junk food, yummy catering, hanging with celebrities, learning the whole film making process...all the things you would never have had the opportunity to unless it was under these circumstances.

Growing up I did a lot of acting work, PA work, and audience work. What is audience work? Actors who get paid to fill space in a tv show audience...these range from pilot shows to pretty big talk shows. Yes, it's an awesome gig and you get a chance to hear some amazing live musical acts.

When I moved away from Hollywood, one of my dirty little secrets was browsing through entertainment forums and reading all the comments. I like to catch up on things I've missed. Let me tell you, people are downright vicious. I don't know why I read them but I did, even though they were a total time suck. Often they're pretty funny, scandalous, and oh-so ignorant! It made me realize that no matter what I read, there's always going to be that handful of people who hate themselves, hate their lives, hate everything--and they get a total adrenaline kick just being a**holes to make themselves feel better. Why do people do that?

C'mon folks, you don't have to comment hatefully just because you can.

Yeah, I quickly grew tired of all the controversy. It was starting to get to me and some threads just left a bitter taste in my mouth. I had to ask myself "why do you read them when they get you all riled up?"....what a great question! I know everyone is entitled to their own views about things but if these same hateful people, with so much passion and conviction about their beliefs, would apply all that emotion into something good...the world would be a better place. Hey, I used to be quick to shoot off my mouth (I sometimes still do) but with age, I've learned to curb my tongue. Thinking before I speak...or at least being as tactful as I can. It's gotten me out of a lot of situations that could have exploded and I'm thankful that I was able to take away from those situation some semblance of patience and maturity.

These days I spend a great deal of time thinking. Writing. Working. Planning. I supposed near the end of the year we all re-evaluate things, we all make some sort of resolution for the next year. If thinking helps us to step away from the sticky situations in our lives...I think it's a good thing. Less B.S. and more time to be creative.

On another note: I'm pleased to announce that I got my first official review for BRUSH STROKES at You Gotta Read! I totally adore them!

If everyone was provided a warning sign about challenges lurking ahead, we would avoid those things that would have shaped our future, and potentially affect the person we are now.

Lately, I've been seeing a common trend among folks: lack of motivation, depression, stress, anger, tension, etc. It's not just author friends but those outside of my writing circle, the stranger at the grocery store, the check-out clerk at the mall, the driver who is in a rush to get somewhere...and it's giving me a lot of food for thought.

I'm normally an upbeat personality type and though there are moments when I fit into the group mentioned above, I try to center my energy into the positive. Believe me, there's been times when I'm raising my fist to the sky and asking, "Why me?" but the simple answer is that the Universe knows and things--good or bad--happens for a reason. I won't lie, I've had a very good childhood and adulthood, but I've also had a very tragic and painful one as well. It's never stopped me from dreaming or aspiring to do more. It's never stopped me from following my heart. So, during this time of so much trials and tribulations, I thought I'd point out a few things for you to think about...things that have helped me wake up in the morning and push forward even when I would have much preferred to wallow...

Life isn't easy, if it were, we'd be bored silly. I've always believed that these challenges in our lives really show us what kind of person we are. Just as much as the relationships in our lives impact us. Especially people who have come and gone. People who have stayed for the long haul. People who we've encountered who taught us a thing or two about ourselves during the transitions in our lives. People we've lost connection with because they were there for different reasons in our lives. The fact remains, we need people. AND they need us just as much because when we can show them a bit of positivity, a small amount of strength, it may be just what they need to keep moving. Imagine what a bundle of positive vibes can do for one person, times a dozen, a hundred, a million...one person does make a difference.

When it comes down to it, I've got plenty of flaws, but I do believe in the good in all people, and I do believe that when we make an effort it will show along the way. We may not always do the right thing but we learn from it. Every day we are growing and life is simply a learning process. When we think we know it all, we don't. We're not perfect. We make mistakes and there will be times in our lives when we feel lost and confused, but that is the time when we are reflecting on everything and forming a solid foundation of who we are. Just remember that during these trying times, we shape the lives of people that we know, that we'll never know--but someday when we least expect it, someone we've interacted with in our past will say to us, "Thanks for changing my life." We may scratch our heads and wonder what we've done. We may even pray that it was a good life change for them, but the bottom line is, that person will remember what you've done. Perhaps they'll do the same for someone else by passing it on...

Every now and then I have the need to ramble, to inspire myself. If more people stayed positive, even when they're surrounded by so much negativity, we might cause a chain reaction that could warm the world.

Here's something to think about:

♦ Don't worry about what "may" happen today, tomorrow, or in the near and distant future. It's wasted energy. We can't control these things, so why dwell on them.

♦ Never believe anyone who says, "you can't". Yes, you can do anything you set your mind on. If you succeeded, you've proven it's possible. If you failed, you've proven you tried and understand your limitations.

♦ There's something out there greater than all of us. There's someone out there who loves each and every one of us, no matter who we are.

♦ When we see bad examples, we don't have to repeat them. When we create good examples, we can spread them.

♦ Be true to yourself. Embrace your flaws just as much as you embrace your accomplishments. The two teaches you a valuable lesson on what you need to improve upon and what you are capable of.

♦ Forgive yourself. The hardest person on you, IS you.

♦ Believe in yourself. Without this, it's the only crutch that's between you and unlimited possibilities.

♦ When you think you're all alone in this world, you aren't. There are billions of people out there. There are billions of chances to be a friend and to have a friend. There are billions of chances so we shouldn't think that we're going it alone.

♦ It's never too late to change.

♦ Life is too short. Live each day full of passion. Live each day full of purpose. Live each day full of love. Live each day as if it were your last.

Once a month, a bunch of authors get together and post excerpts from published books, contracted work or works in progress, and link to each other. You don’t have to be published to participate–just a writer with an excerpt you’d like to share. For more info on how to participate, head over to the Excerpt Monday site! or click on the banner above.

***

Wow, it's time for another Excerpt Monday. I've missed a few but I'm trying to get back on track...

Well, I wrote this story sometime last year and it's one of the pieces that I wanted to create a sensual and passionate ambiance. My storytelling is very visual in my head, since I was a screenwriter in my previous life, and I wanted readers to feel like they were visiting the exclusive venue, not just reading about it. This is just a small snippet, but I hope you'll get a feel for what I'm talking about. One of the best things about being a writer is to be able to pull in memories...this one has sprinkles of my life in Paris and my love of exotic, sexy art. Doesn't mean it's based on experience, but I don't kiss and tell.

Since this is a new sale, the cover isn't available yet. It'll be the first thing I do when I get it, though.

***

BRUSH STROKES by Jax Cassidy
Publisher: Amber Heat (Amber Quill Press)
Release: January 2010

For Sage, attending the Parisian sex club, Plaisirs Sombres, was the ultimate fantasy. So when the conservative gallery assistant is cloaked behind the velvet mask, she never expected to be the object of the club owner's desire. Spurred on by D.S. Gregoire's erotic and sensual brush strokes of the exclusive club, she gives into a brief liaison that leaves her breathless and wanting.

For Damien, known to the art world as D.S. Gregoire, his art has always been an adrenaline rush. But when an exotic and mysteriously uninhibited 'sex club virgin' enters his establishment, he is willing to break his club rules for another taste of the dark pleasures she brings him.

Here's a short excerpt:

“Tu comprend le francais?” The rich voice interrupted her thoughts.

Sage turned in the man’s direction and felt the wind knocked out of her. Oh my God. He possessed the most beautiful lucid ocean blue eyes beneath the exquisite black mask. His lashes were thick and dark as coal, which only enhanced their beauty.

She licked her lips, slowly assessing the striking face that belonged to a dark-haired Frenchman dressed in an all black ensemble. A work of art that almost resembled the characters in the paintings. She shivered at the vision of their naked bodies pressed against each other, legs entwined as sweat glistened from the aftermath of lovemaking.

She swallowed, her eyes dropping to his shirt that was loosely unbuttoned to expose his throat, revealing a deep tan and a hint of muscled pectorals. A soft glimmer of silver around his neck caught her attention, yet the pendant was hidden beneath the dark material. He cleared his throat, easily switching to English to accommodate her. “May I buy you a drink, mademoiselle?”

Her eyes returned to his face, still at a loss for words. She nodded a demure affirmative response.

“Ah, may I safely assume you are a Cosmopolitan kind of woman?” His accent was distinctly French, slightly diluted, with a mix of British, proving an educated breeding and a strong grasp of languages.

She nodded again and he smiled, flashing perfect pearly whites.

“I see that you are unaccompanied. It’s not customary to allow a single woman entry without a chaperone. You must be an exception, non?”

Sage struck a seductive pose and blinked exaggeratedly.

He laughed a throaty laugh at her silent game. “Fair enough.”

Her lips curled into a seductive smile.

The sexy stranger waved the bartender down and ordered their drinks, ahead of the queue of waiting customers. He must be a regular. Maybe even an influential client.

So who could he be?

She bit her lower lip trying not to let her imagination run away with her. The man handed her the blush concoction in the tempered Martini glass.

He raised his scotch as if in a toast, speaking in a hushed tone for her ears alone, “Ne le buvez pas, belle enchanteresse.” He tipped the glass toward her and took a long swallow.

Was he testing her French skills? She acted as if she did not understand his words and took a slow sip. His rich baritone echoed through her. Do not drink that, beautiful enchantress. What kind of game was this Frenchman playing? Inside, she was smiling at her own trickery.

The man set his glass down and leaned in to cup her face, startling her with his frankness. His mere touch burned her flesh and scorched her body with a fevered desire. He peered into her eyes, as if he was trying to reach into her soul. Her gaze stayed on his lush mouth, watching his lips move seductively. “À moins que vous ne capituliez à mon contrôle....” The deep timbre of his voice resonated through her at his obvious proposal. Unless you are surrendering to my control.

His closeness, the heat of his touch, and his enigmatic charm made her grow wet with need.
Yes. Yes. I want to surrender to you! Her body screamed. She wanted to be taken, to be ravaged right here. Right now.

He closed his hand over hers and guided the glass to her lips. Sage drank the cool liquid and the alcohol coated her throat, sliding smoothly, spreading easily through her system.

He gave her a provocative smile and dipped his fingers in her drink, pulling out the cherry before setting the glass aside. He held the fruit up by the stem, dangling it before her. She paused, then parted her lips in acceptance of his offering.

***

Links to other Excerpt Monday writers

Note: I have not personally screened these excerpts. Please heed the ratings and be aware that the links may contain material that is not typical of my site.

I can't help that I totally love LOVE this MadTV skit about Emo Elmo from a few years ago. I want one of these! For some reason, it's so screwed up that it makes me bust out in laughter.

They say laughter is the best medicine and when something can provide it...especially during these difficult times...I should take laughter where I can get it. Enjoy!